A total, most likely Biased Ranking of Carrie Bradshaws 18 Intercourse while the City Boyfriends

Notable mainly if you are the man that is first shacks up with onscreen in season one (Should we now have intercourse like males? ) along with having straight-up shark face, Kurts presence was fleeting. He had been here, after which he had been gone, making just the scent that is lingering of Noir and international venereal diseases in their wake.

Verdict: One Cosmo with lipstick across the rim.

An affable young doofus that Carrie rebounds with after being endured up by Mr. Big, whose ADHD rambling ( “I experienced this fantasy, I experienced these HUGE fingers, and also you had been inside it… as this stunning woman that is unicorn) and tailgating-at-a-Phish-concert-esque apartment finally turned her down within the awesomely-named “Valley for the Twenty-Something Guys” episode. Us too.

Verdict: Two cosmos laced with LSD.

The chiseled architect that is french mistakes Carrie for a high-class hooker and actually leaves $1,000 in the nightstand. Le fin.

Verdict: One Cosmo by having a beret (mostly for the line “You’re too gorgeous to be always a author. ” F*ck you, guy. )

Before he had been Jennifer Aniston’s spouse, he showed up on Sex additionally the City—twice. The very first time, he’s a flash-in-the-pan journalist that is experiencing his five moments of fame and believes that means it is fine to put on sunglasses in.

Verdict: a Cosmo that is half-drunk with sunglasses onto it.

We discover in Season 2 that during her dry spells, Carrie often goes down seriously to Pound Town utilizing the man from the All State Commercials/Dennis from 30 Rock, random star Dean Winters. Each goes on two times and she discovers that he is incredibly boring. Are you currently in good arms?

Verdict: Two Cosmos, skip dinner.

Otherwise called “The Episode Where Carrie Kisses Alanis Morissette” or “The Episode That Dates This Show much more Than others Do, ” Bisexual Sean is bisexual along with his buddies are a definite seething, complicated Shoots and Ladders of undefined sex. He additionally works for “an Internet company, ” since the Internet frequently invoked within the SATC-verse to represent younger Hipness, which is why Carrie is “too antique. “

Verdict: Two gifs of cosmos.

There comes a right time in most female’s life whenever she must determine if your porkpie cap is just a dealbreaker. Unlike many of us, for Carrie, it is not. Nevertheless, once she gets sick of Ray (Craig Bierko) “playing her” (that’s fingering, right? Appropriate? I am uncertain) she understands he can not actually give attention to such a thing very long enough become severe. Also, he really likes canned corn. Additionally: we once lived by having a roommate that is male moved in whilst the “scatting” scene had been on. From the time, every time SATC is mentioned in their existence, he yells “It is JAZZ, Carrie! JAZZ! “

Verdict: Three cosmos plus one meandering bass riff.

For a period stocked mainly with Rent-a-Hunks who (literally) came and went, John Slattery’s 2-episode arc showed staying power that is remarkable. He played a fairly tight-assed politician whom, because it proved, possessed something for golden showers. Carrie could not comply with this, and it’s really among the first times we are met with her dichotomous intimate values. Resting having a married guy? Otay. Peeing for a city comptroller that is aspiring? NOPE. On the other hand, this might be a female who may have sex along with her bra on. Therefore.

Verdict: Two cosmos and five containers of water, without any restroom coming soon.

There are two main hits from this man: he is a writer and an ejaculator that is premature. While Carrie and their bohemian mom (RHODA! ) have actually an instantaneous rapport, Vaughn’s failure to manage, and on occasion even acknowledge, their intimate problems is a dealbreaker on her. As well as for us. I love my bedding unsullied, thank you. I do not care exactly exactly just how hip that is many bookstores carry your novel.

Verdict: One cosmo and a few cells.

Carrie satisfies Bon Jovi (playing Jovi that is not-Bon the waiting room of her specialist’s workplace. After having a round of Twister foreplay plus some strenuous boning, he notifies her that he is in treatment because he sleeps with ladies after which instantly loses interest/gives love a poor title, etc. Tommy and Gina might have never supported down, but Carrie does.


During a trip to l. A., Carrie meets and hot-tub bangs high, puffy Frankenstein Vince Vaughn, whom notifies her that he is Matt Damon’s representative. He is actually Carrie Fisher’s individual associate, and blah blah, TL; DR, but Vince Vaughn is pretty adorable, so…

Verdict: Three cosmos.

In Season 5, Carrie reunites along with her senior high school sweetheart (David Duchovny). All is certainly going well until he admits to her he’s an out-patient at a health that is mental nearby. (It really is called Juno Spears, and now we’re resulted in think oahu is the Le Cirque of rehab. ) Caveat: David Duchovny is crazy, but he is additionally crazy sexy. You can perform lot more serious!

Verdict: Four cosmos and a little paper glass filled with benzos.

Yo, f*ck this guy. A worldwide avant-garde artist, Aleksandr Petrovsky is pretentious and patronizing through the get-go. We are likely to hate him, right? He is chock-full of European affectations to show Carrie (“We just have actually espresso. ” ” Put blackberry jam in your tea. ” “Smoking is sexy. “) together with undeniable fact that she actually is into it just illuminates her tendency to be subservient to your dudes she dates. SMH.

Verdict: Zero cosmos, one arsenic-laced cognac

The adorable lead from a workplace (Ron Livingston) has a substantial arc in period give after he and Carrie meet through their publisher and participate in All the Banter ™. A neurotic, insecure camrabbit com and debut that is defensive, he demonstrates himself incompetent at managing Carrie’s success and in the end breaks up together with her on a Post-It: (“I’m sorry. I cannot. Do not hate me”).

The Berger character, a lot more than some other from the show, bears a resemblance that is spooky many ny dudes, who will be usually people in this Woody Allen-esque breed: pretty, evasive, jokes-instead-of-feelings, confused in what comprises contemporary masculinity, and unable to end a relationship correctly. (Hint: Not just a bike. )

Verdict: Three. 5 cosmos, A american Spirit and a copy of Infinite Jest.

Okay, look. The Aidan/Big debate could be the Team Lauren/Team Heidi of this very early aughts. Aidan v. 1.0 had “hip divorced dad” long locks, the type of puka shell necklaces used mainly by males in seventh grade in 2001, and stated such things as: “You’ll I would ike to into the apartment, but how can I enter into right here? ” while placing a tactile pay their own heart. He is too more comfortable with making direct attention contact. I can not take action.

Aidan 2.0 had an improved haircut, abs, but had been nevertheless basically Aidan: a austere, sappy metropolitan hippie whom finally stuck around means a long time when confronted with Carrie’s indifference. Investing the remainder of an stage to your life 5 clinger whom whittles ottomans for a full time income and asks you ” what is taking place in right here” while he’s stroking your mind is my actual notion of hell.

Verdict: Three cosmos plus one wood love chair with an overly-elaborate backstory.

After all, what exactly is here to express? Big could be the Grand Guignol of unattainable males, even though he and Carrie take in contrast to down – although, to be reasonable, Carrie acted like an insecure, class-A nutcase with him throughout the very first few seasons. An enigma wrapped in a riddle covered with utter confusion and stuffed into an Armani suit, he is since irritating as he’s appealing. Even yet in the flicks (that I frequently do not count), you will get the sinister feeling that he will never truly allow Carrie in the manner she desires to be let in. But possibly that is simply my cynical browse.

Verdict: 5 Cosmos plus one cigar.

Verdict: One Cosmo with lipstick all over rim.